Emerging from the darkness

Today I have the feeling of turning a corner. This isn’t to do with any major development in my life, but with the fact that I’ve spent a large part of the time since the winter solstice sitting by the props table in the black and cavernous area behind the stage in a theatre, and now the pantomime run is over and I can come into the light again. Coincidentally, the days are at last beginning to get perceptibly longer, or at least they are on days when the weather doesn’t cause them to darken prematurely.

I’ve considered and now discarded most of my possible New Year Resolution ideas. I suppose the top one on my list was to try not to procrastinate so much, but I mulled this over a bit and realised that there is often a purpose in my procrastination, in that things I put off doing sometimes aren’t worth doing at all, or are rendered unnecessary by events before I get round to them. There is no point in resolving to lose weight, to write more or to take up swimming again. These are all things that will either happen or not, regardless of any effort of will-power. Actually the only one that’s actually likely to happen is writing more, and I really don’t need a resolution to get me to do that. I already have a writing plan for the next little while.

In my experience New Year Resolutions have to be specific, realistic and achievable. My most successful resolution over the years has been to stop saying ‘I can’t be bothered’. I kept this up for at least a couple of years, and even now I pause and think before saying it. I suppose the success of this could be extended to losing weight, for instance, if I re-programmed myself to say ‘No, thanks, I don’t want a biscuit’ instead of ‘Wow! Giant choc chip cookies! My favourite!’



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